Well you were a bit of a sh*t show, weren’t you?

Don’t take it personally it was way less about you and more about me. I’m sure?

January, the longest month ever was taken over hard and fast by big promises of the year of the fire horse. And we were (are) here for it. But the energy came quick and I took a tumble.

I couldn’t keep up and it saw me take to my bed for a weekend, or at-least a close second, my sofa. My fabulous safe-space-sofa with my gallery wall that keeps its promise to take me around the world and my movies to transport me to where I’d rather be. Who I’d rather be.

Unhinged thoughts.

I started a new note on my phone titled ‘posts I’d never post’ because if I did, I think you’d be calling my emergency contact and asking if was ok, or pull me into a room with my nearest and dearest who were present enough to realise I might need an intervention.

See, I don’t do well with missed time, I don’t see the benefit of rest I see it as time I’ve lost, I’m further behind.

But I’m working on it.

I had a dream last night. I met my Olivia Dean —she was in my dream and I met my idol, someone who’s music got me through the hardest time of my life, she said thank you for telling me, and a single tear ran down my face.

It spilled out without me knowing. It was the tears that I’d always dreamed off, silent and telling, against shimmery alabaster skin.

Reasons why February went wrong for me —

Sometimes it all comes too fast: I forget to put one foot in front of the other, I move too quickly through things (which honestly sometimes saves me) but I forget my tools and how to use them. I think it’s called frozen. I’m the frozen in fight, flight or frozen.
Apple: why you update my phone so that the text spews out things I would never choose to say? I actually meant dear February NOT dear Deborah. I don’t even know a Deborah.
Being an empath: can we agree what is our superpower is also our undoing? Wuthering heights stuck with me for a week and in a dark place not a light. A close friend, and what she’s going through, put me in a smoggy cloud walking around with eyes down and head in a different place. Not that I wouldn’t want to be there with you please don’t let that mean you don’t share.

These things I write might resonate with you, and I guess what I’m trying to say is, you are allowed to forget for a while, coast, don’t get too deep (thanks Olivia) but if you do —permission to pull yourself out too.

My tools to reconnect today, is a hot soak to purge and release.

Magnesium Reset Bath Salts- by SALT LAB.

Let’s call it float… as this mix saw me rise to the top

Magnesium chloride - full body submerge in the good stuff to fully sink into your release but also your absorption.
Dead sea salts - nothing feels more luxe right? But this multi-mineral boasts benefits of exfoliation, purifying, replenishing and skin softening. I’m sold.
Bentonite clay - detox and slough off old skin cells (and worn out feelings as they seep from your epidermis) resulting in a smoother skin surface.

Proof— so there’s actual science behind your long soak in the bath. Submerge completely if you can. I dare you.

As usual I have the water too hot and the music too loud, but make it your own ritual. Seep in this mineral-tonic-concoction for 15-20 mins to allow for max relaxation results.

That’s just the perfect time to listen to my Olivia Dean favourites on repeat —

Dive
Ok love you bye
Float
I’ve seen it all
Babysteps
And if you can stay a little longer — Be my own boyfriend

Salt Lab suggest this as a pre bedtime ritual but I’m using it as a weekend cleanse/refresh — after this you’ll remember how to feel but for all the right reasons. Promise.